


Top Shelf

by J_EnotsoLovely



Series: One Piece One Shots and Drabbles [7]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Humor, Idiots, M/M, Roronoa Zoro and Vinsmoke Sanji Bickering, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26876842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_EnotsoLovely/pseuds/J_EnotsoLovely
Summary: "Uh hey there, you looked like you could use the help." A deep voice stated, and Sanji began turning towards the source, irritated beyond belief."Well no shit. Did you figure that out by yourself sherloc--" He choked on the rest of his sentence, surprise stealing the air right out of his lungs.Because holy fuck this guy was hot.
Relationships: Nami & Roronoa Zoro, Nami & Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: One Piece One Shots and Drabbles [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936849
Comments: 36
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HEWO  
> I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE CRACK

_What the fuck?_

What the actual fuck?

Like literal fuck?

There was no way he could make the legitamacy of this fuck even _fuckier_ than it already fucking was.

The _fuckery._

Sanji wasn't quite sure what he was expecting when he spotted the sign for an "Extreme Supermarket" as he drove home from his college classes, but it sure as hell wasn't _this._

Damn it all.

"You owe me big time for this Nami." he mumbled to himself, cursing his friends' demand for Dark Chocolate.

Not that he could completely blame her.

His supply was also getting dangerously low--only 30 boxes left---and if Sanji wasn't careful, they'd be gone by tomorrow. He would grab a case of chocolate for himself(milk chocolate, dark chocolate was too bitter) and the lovely Nami and then he'd be on his not-so-merry but chocolate-filled way.

At least, that _had_ been his plan.

Standing in front of this extra large "we-make-tall-people-feel-short-and-short-people-feel-non-existent shelf" he conceded that he would now have to reconsider.

"Seriously, what kind of place is this?" he mumbled, looking forlornly at the top shelf, which of course held exactly what he needed.

He wasn't even short.

Like at all.

He was 6'2. And his doctor claimed that he was still growing, a fact that he wasn't quite sure he enjoyed knowing.

"Uh hey there, you looked like you could use the help." A deep voice stated, and Sanji began turning towards the source, irritated beyond belief.

"Well _no shit._ Did you figure that out by yourself sherloc--" He choked on the rest of his sentence, surprise stealing the air right out of his lungs.

Because holy _fuck_ this guy was hot.

It was a darker skinned teen, Hispanic, or maybe some type of Native or Islander, though the shape of his eyes hinted at an Asian heritage. The teen had short, spiky green hair with black highlights. His eyes shone brightly, a liquid honey. The tan male was wearing black skinny joggers and a loose black tee, clothed with a bright green bomber jacket, the letter "W" on his left arm in orange coloring.

On the front of the jacket, the blonde could just make out what was typed on a small name tag.

Roronoa Zoro.

The teen couldn't have been older than Sanji, and yet, the chef found himself at an unusual loss for words, which rarely ever happened.

"Done staring?" The man drawled and he startled, forgetting, in a way, that the other was there.

"You're shorter than me." He deadpanned, his cerulean eyes dancing with faint amusement. "How exactly are you gonna help me, huh _Roronoa_?" he scoffed, deciding that feigning indifference would be the best way to keep the flush on his face at bay.

The slightly awed face the tan male created, almost made Sanji kneel over from the cuteness.

"Oh shit. I forgot I was wearing a nametag, for a second I was fucking _confused_. ' _He's hot, AND a psychic, what're the chances_.' Is what I thought." Zoro said, scratching the back of his head with a slight laugh.

_What the hell is this guy? It's like he's purposely trying to confuse my gaydar._ Sanji thought, a flush fully surfacing on his face despite his best intentions.

"Chocolate. Top shelf. Grabby thingy. Hand it over. Now." Sanji demanded, putting his hand out, closing and opening his fingers repeatedly, mimicking the long rod that some stores kept to grab items too high for the customers.

'Cause there was no way that this store didn't have one.

No way.

"Huh?" Zoro asked, his handsome face twisting to even deeper confusion. Then he smirked. "Oh, you mean the Pick Stick. Sorry curly, but I don't have it with me. I don't really like those things. Why don't you just buy another brand instead? 'S'a lot cheaper."

"Oh _wow._ Why didn't I think of that?" The chef muttered, feeling exasperated. "They're not for me. And the person I'm buying it for prefers this brand."

The tan teen shrugged. "Whatever you say, doesn't change the fact that I don't have it with me." The man glanced over, amber gaze boring into him. "Want me to lift you instead?"

_What did he just say?_

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Sanji screeched, yelling louder than he intended and felt kind of bad as he watched the tan teen stiffen, his small smirk wavering just a bit.

The blonde watched in amazement as Zoro's face brightened with a batch of fresh blood.

"Fine. I can grab one from the back if you want. It's really not a long walk and I'll be back long before you manage to undo that spiral eyebrow of yours. If I'm being totally honest," Zoro glanced away, voice steady, but eyes flickering. "I just wanted to know how you'd feel in my arms. I think you're really attractive y'know? Apparently shit like that is supposed to be romantic." He finished, his voice low but without shame.

Sanji paused, then let out a small scoff, before lifting his arms up in the air. "Lets go then Zoro. I don't have all day, there's a lovely, gorgeous red-head roommate who's impatiently waiting for her dark chocolate."

He forced himself to ignore the the minutely relieved look the male shot him---and the way it made his insides all warm.

Then his view expanded.

Sanji was in the air and on Zoro's shoulders before he knew what was happening.

"Easy there nature-boy. You're handling delicate merchandise." Sanji laughed, searching through shelf for the brand he needed.

Zoro snorted.

"I don't see you as being delicate. Something tells me you're far stronger than you let on." The teen responded humorously.

Sanji could attest to that, it wasn't exactly false, after all.

_Aha! Found you, you toublesome little shits._

Sanji swiped the entire case of dark chocolate, placing the large box on his head. Then grabbed another of milk chocolate and held it in the flat of his hand. He heard Zoro groan under him and tensed up, desperately fighting a blush, before he realized that it was a grunt of pain.

Perfect for teasing. 

"Come on Nature-boy, don't give out on me now. All those muscles, you should be able to handle an extra 30 pounds or so."

"Oi, then you _were_ checking me out?"

Even without looking at him, Sanji could tell that Zoro was smirking.

"Yea right, as if, you real life tarzan." He retorted, almost falling off his perch on Zoro, the teens laughter shaking his body and he came to the realization that he had been on top the other too long.

"Marimo! Put me down!" He yelled, yelping when the tan teen didn't give him any warning. Zoro placed him gently on his feet and the two males gazed at each other for a long time, the workers hands lingering on his waist longer than normal.

"So, what's your name? You're not exactly wearing a name tag. And I'm not an attractive psychic." Zoro asked, smiling at Sanji's flustered nature.

"It's Sanji, Sanji Black. And are you psychic, no. But attractive, yes." The pale male said, then started in surprise at his own boldness.

Zoro's face was crimson, and it brought him a gratifying sense of satisfaction to watch the blood flood the spiky haired teens expression.

"Come on, I'll ring you up." The worker announced, grabbing the box off of Sanji's head and flicking the center of his eyebrow playfully.

The blonde stood stunned for a minute, then jumped, running after Zoro.

"Hey you shitty piece of moss, don't make fun of my eyebrows!"

"Yeah, well don't talk about my hair." The teen yelled back, no heat in the words.

As Zoro rung up the two cases he kept his eyes down and Sanji felt a bit of sadness. The chances of him returning to this store were nil and the chances of him seeing this guy again were even lower.

"So I was thinking," Zoro started and the blonde glanced up hopefully. "That maybe you and I..could go somewhere sometime? Coffee, or maybe a movie. Both. Neither...a spar? Fuuuck sparring with you sounds..." He trailed offed, looking to the side. "Shit. Sorry I'm rambling."

His face was red. Really red. And Sanji wasn't any better but a wide beautiful smile graced his lips.

"You wouldn't be opposed to a second date right. Considering that I'll kick your ass when we spar." The blonde smirked, batting his eyes. "I wouldn't want you getting cold feet."

Zoro only laughed, and promised to make it worth his while.

As Sanji walked to his car, he cursed(thanked) luck once again, knowing that his friend would be smug when she found what happened. As he started the car, he noticed something on the receipt and flipped it over, his cheeks hurting even more than possible.

_"Here's my number, call me anytime you have grocery store problems. Or anytime at all, Curlybrow."_

Sanji laughed saving the number in his phone under "Shitty Marimo".

"Will do." he murmured softly. "Will do."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd taken her away from that hellhole, and gifted her with the freedom to be herself. They'd even went shopping for make up to cover the bruises and they spent the entire time pointing out pretty girls to one another. Not everyone had that support, had someone like Sanji in their lives, and they lived their days as a disgrace to society. That's why she was going to do her best to help those kids who were like herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second half of the crack fic  
> A bit of light angst. Brief, near non-existent mentions of abuse.
> 
> Please enjoy!!

Nami waited for her roommate, wondering just how long it was going to take.

Their 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment was comfortable, furnished in monotone grays and dark browns with the exception of a few flowers. Nami sat at the kitchen table, pouring over homework. She was clothed in a pink night dress, hair done up in a messy orange bun, her black highlights shining through, and chocolate brown eyes drooping from tiredness. She was studying for her AP Psychology final, wondering again what insane voice possessed her to take two AP classes AND Dual Enrollment. 'Little Game' blasted from dark red earplugs, so loud that the music could be heard from the outside and she found herself swaying to the beat. Her foot tapping, she lowly sang the words to herself.

" _Hush boy, oh hush boy, don't say a word. Throw on a jersey and no one gets hurt. Hush girl oh hush girl, just bat your eyes, and play our little game. Play our little game._ "

Her voice was hauntingly melodic, tinged with anger and sadness. The song was good, amazingly so, but it always brought her mind back to the day she appeared on the Baratie's doorstep, bloodied and crying.

"Sanji, do you think it would be better if I just disappeared, would everyone would be happier?" She had asked him later that night, already knowing the answer. Of course it would all be better. He just had to say the words.

"Nami dear, if I was the only one who really loved you, how would you feel?"

The red-head had sat quietly, letting the implications of what her best friend said sink in. Then she smiled, her heart warming.

Someone loved her.

Someone _cared._

"Honestly, I think I'd be so happy that I couldn't stop smiling."

He'd taken her away from that hellhole, and gifted her with the freedom to be herself. They'd even went shopping for make up to cover the bruises and they spent the entire time pointing out pretty girls to one another. Not everyone had that support, had someone like Sanji in their lives, and they lived their days as a disgrace to society. That's why she was going to do her best to help those kids who were like herself.

Nami wanted to be a Social Worker. It was shit pay, but she was willing to cast her own dealings with money aside.

She would do it. It wasn't a dream, but a future she'd work hard to make reality.

Though not if she couldn't _focus_.

The girl groaned, looking down at the mountain of notes she was supposed to be studying.

Psychology wasn't anything she was really interested in, she'd heard enough from people who made it their business to tell her exactly what they were thinking, but Nami figured that it was still a good course to take, considering her future profession.

 _Speaking of future._ She thought, then grabbed her phone. _I wonder if he did it._

It had been 15 minutes since she texted her roommates that she wanted dark chocolate knowing that there'd only be one store in the area.

Hunters Express: An Extreme Supermarket.

And the place where Sanji's future lover happened to work.

"Zoro you dense idiot, you better not mess this up." Nami mumbled, staring at the non-existent notification bubble on her message icon. "Learning how long it took him to get home, and calculating the speed at which he normally drives took tons of observation and listening. It was no walk in the park. That guy has instincts strong enough to rival your own."

She smiled.

Knowing that her plan was golden.

Her best friend was 19 years old, and _still_ hasn't dated anyone.

That was beyond unacceptable. So Nami took it upon herself to find him a potential partner. It was the least she could do for him. He meant the most to her out of everyone in the world after Nojiko, and the thought of having to let him go hurt bad, but if it meant seeing him happy, then it was worth everything.

 _I really hope Zoro can do it_. She prayed, thinking back to the day she met the tan teen.

_Nami ran through the flooded hallways, cursing her terrible time management skills. It was her first day at a Dual Enrollment so first impressions were everything._

_She slid between students, ducking, dodging, and yelling out "Sorry" to anyone she pushed into rather harshly. She cast a furtive glance to her schedule, hoping that she was in the right wing. "Room 73, room 73." the red-head muttered over and over again, head swinging side to side and forgetting to look at what was in front of her._

_Like the wall._

_"Waahh!" Nami yelped, dropping her books and almost falling herself before strong arms steadied her by the waist._

_Not a wall then._

_"Oi, watch where you're going."_

_Nami looked up into a pair of honey shaded eyes and the teen cracked a grin, wearing too much green for her taste but he just saved her the embarrassment of falling so she wasn't complaining._

_She would bitch back at him though, he clearly was an asshole._

_"I'm sorry. I was blindsighted by that hair of yours. I thought to myself, 'there couldn't possibly be a tree in the hallway.'" She said, picking up her discarded items and flashing a wicked grin his way._

_He surprised her by helping._

_The teen had spiky green hair and tan skin that looked out of place in this region. She decided immediately that she liked him, even if he was a dick. The accepting energy that the teen exuded left no room for argument._

_"Why are you here anyway? You look like a kid." He he scoffed, shooting her a curious glance. Nami laughed, feeling like they could become friends._

_"First time I've ever been told that." She replied darkly, feeling large, rough hands ghost up her hips. If the other noticed her sudden shift, he didn't mention it, instead offering to show her to her class._

_As the two walked down the hallway, the tan teen guiding her, he shot a side glance and smiled, lighting up the entire area. "I'm Zoro, by the way. Roronoa Zoro. Roronoa's my last name by the way. Force of habit."_

_"I'm Nami, just Nami though. Not really a last name that I wanna stick claim to."_

_He raised his brows but didn't comment._

_When they passed another student in the hallway, after walking around long after the bell had rung, she learned that her new acquaintance was directionally challenged._

_Since that day, her and Zoro had become steady friends. And eventually, he found out about her being bisexual._

_"Oh yeah?" He shrugged. "Well I know a few girls, if you're interested. But that's only if you take off of my debt." Zoro had said, startling her with the weird, yet accepting response._ _"It's not like I can judge anyways, since I'm a demi pansexual who hops in and out of the aro spectrum from time to time." He had continued._

_Nami smiled at the memory, laughing at the spark of an idea that formed in her head that same night._

_For weeks she fed him stories of Sanji, building his interest in her best friend. Each day he'd ask for more, until finally, Nami decided to treat him with a picture._

_"Holy shit he's hot." Zoro had muttered, his face flooding crimson and the red head smirked smugly, knowing that her silent plan was coming to fruition._

_"I can help you meet him. But on the condition that you don't tell him that you and I have already met. In fact, in your life, I don't even exist."_

_"How come?" The swordsman asked._

_Nami shrugged. "He doesn't like when I meddle. And I don't like hearing him get off at night."_

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't heard the door opening, nor the footsteps behind her.

"What're you over here cheesing about, dearest?" Sanji asked and she jumped, screaming slightly.

"Sanji-kun, you scared me." She pouted and he playfully flicked her forehead, balancing two large cases of chocolate on his head, taking them off and setting them on the floor.

"Sorry about the sudden request, love, I was really craving them. You were gone for a while. Tell me, did anything crazy happen?"

Sanji's face glowed in equal proportions of happiness and embarrassment.

"I-I met a guy. He was really sweet, an asshole though. And-" the blonde flushed deeper. "We exchanged numbers. I was texting him on my way here, and we have a date set up for tomorrow. I'm gonna kick his ass." He finished.

"Your first date is a fight?" She deadpanned.

"Yeah, we talked on the phone the entire time, he's _hot_ Nami-swan. I think he's hot enough that I'd give up women honestly."

 _Ah, so that's why Zoro hasn't texted me yet_. Nami thought, smiling at her best friend's excited disposition, her heart melting at the sparkle in his eyes. It was a look she'd never seen before and it made her insanely happy to see Sanji so uncharacteristically giddy.

She listened patiently as Sanji told her the tale of his not-so-mini adventure, ranting like a madman. The red-head lost it when he told her how Zoro asked if he could lift him up.

"Like seriously," Sanji grouched, "no _sane_ person just up and says that. He's so straight forward." Nami laughed, knowing all too well the oddball her kendo-freak friend was.

It was another reason she thought the two would make a good match. Sanji was self-conscious and hated compliments, but with Zoro, he'd have no choice but to accept them. She shook her head ruefully, feeling kind of bad for her old pal.

He had a roller-coaster in store with that one.

"Yeah, Zoro's a good guy isn't he?" She asked, still swinging her head side to side.

"Yeah he i-" Sanji started before cutting off and the red-head looked up, confused.

The blonde's blue gaze turned suspicious. "Nami, my love..." he began and she sweatdropped, realizing too late her mistake. "I never told you his name."

"Haha, yeah you did, you probably didn't realize it." She said quickly, batting her eyes and hoping he'd buy it.

Her phone chose that moment to notify her of an incoming message.

_Zoro what the hell?_

She had long taken out her headphones and unplugged them, so the ding hung in the air, sounding too much like a death toll for Nami's taste.

The best friend looked at each other, 18 and 19, once with an icy cerulean stare and the other with a deep amber, then together, they lunged.

Sanji was faster.

He snatched the phone and read the message from Zoro, a simple _"It worked. You're actually not stupid Nami, thanks. And Vivi says hi."_ followed by a thumbs up emoji.

Sanji stared at her, his face a blank mask.

_Uh oh._

She knew that look. It meant tickle torture was coming.

Calmly, Nami got up and stretched.

She smiled at her roommate, one filled with love and unlimited affection.

Then she put one foot in front of the other.

And _ran_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated, let me know what you thought!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> It was interesting to try and write Nami and Sanji without the usual fluff. I hope I portrayed it well! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated. Please let me know what you think!!! <3


End file.
